OK so first things first... Obviously I’m not a granddad – but I did turn 30 last week... And in ‘rockstar’ years that’s pretty damn old... I’ve already outlived Hendrix, Buckley and Winehouse to name a few fallen stars. Perhaps because I feel like I achieved a lot in my 20s - got a first in Music BA (Hons) #WonderMuso, got a hot wife #WonderWag, got 2 kids #WonderKids and started my favourite ever band #Wondersmiths (!) etc... I’m just not phased by my 30 label and besides, I’m going to write my best songs yet in my 30s, I’m going to play to bigger crowds in my 30s, I’m going to take a picture of a massive waterfall in my 30s (rockstars have dreams too!) – and it’s fine because the rest of my #Wonderboys help to bring my average age down!!
Oh so here’s how I celebrated turning 30... A Disney-fancy-dress-sing-along-disco-cinema-quiz-mega-party...
Some people put a serious amount of effort into their costumes! I was supposed to be Olaf from Frozen, but I sweated most of my facepaint off!!
My #Wonderboys... Oli benefitted massively from having @HannahThinksMakeup do his lion king face paint, Chris is clearly a hipster dalmation and no one knows who Alex is supposed to be... some sort of gay Filipino dinosaur I guess...
Over to Christmas – and my top 7 things you can do at Christmas, but can’t do any other time of year!
1: Drink Baileys.
It is the forbidden fruit of pub drinks (unless you’re taking your Grandma to the pub of course). So delicious yet so unorderable!
2: Sit down wee.
(Liz on the throne)
Like a Christmas treat... ladies of course get to do this all year round, but guys should keep this special for Christmas day!
3: Play board games with your family
(Alex kaltio and his family, 15 years from now).
Old school, yes – but there’s just something so satisfying about beating your Grandma in a game of Othello right?? I would love it if I got to play more board games with my family... But perhaps it’s the baileys talking.
4: Listen to Christmas songs.
My favourite 3 are ‘fairy tale of New York’ – The Pogues, ‘Don’t let the bells end’ – The Darkness and ‘O Holy night’ (when they sing it in home alone!!) And to get the full impact and enjoyment of these songs at Christmas time, you really shouldn’t sing them / listen to them at other times of the year!! People who listen to Christmas songs throughout the year are deliberately trying to be ironic, which is lame. Avoid these people.
5: Watch Christmas movies
With Netflix, Sky movies on demand, Amazon prime, BT vision and lovefilm (does that still exist?!) it is possible to access Christmas content all year round... But you shouldn’t. People who watch Elf in august (and post about it on Facebook) “I’m crazy, I just watched Elf and it’s August” – are simply attention whores. Avoid these people.
6: Drink before 10am.
If this is something that isn’t special to Christmas day for you, you may wish to seek advice from the AA.
7: Drive to your parents house wearing your pyjamas and some reindeer slippers
It’s probably illegal driving in slippers... But surely the feds have got better things to do on Christmas day so it’s probably fine – and it feels lush.
But with only one more sleep left before Christmas is on top of us, close this blog down and try and cram in as many of my 7 suggestions before time runs out and that luxurious liqueur has to go back in the cupboard for another year of manly baileys abstinence!
Merry Christmas #Wonderfans, stay tuned, many surprises from us are coming in the new year!!